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Being a single parent can be a very challenging job. You may be close to the end of your rope on most days. Then, you hear a whining child voice ask for something, and that rope is hanging on by a thread now. How can you get your child to quit whining? First, notice the times that your child gets whiney. Is she hungry or tired? Did you just say no to a request? Or, maybe you are occupied with something else, and the behavior is to get your attention. When you hear whining, stay cool and neutral. If you get upset, your child may keep doing the behavior to see your reaction. Ask your child to talk in a normal tone, or you can say "I can't hear you unless you speak in your real voice." If your child perseveres, state the limit such as no candy at the store today but you can have a healthy snack (say one that the child likes) when we get home. Still hear whining? Tell your child that there will now be no healthy snack, either, if the tone of voice continues to be used. The key is to stick to your decisions. If you say your child cannot have something, then absolutely do not give in no matter how much your child protests. You may have to physically remove your child from the situation if he or she gets out of hand. Yes, you many be greatly inconvenienced by leaving a cart of groceries behind while you cope with your child, but in the long term, he or she will learn that you mean what you say and no amount of whining or tantrums will change your mind. If you notice that whining occurs in certain situations, try to avoid your child in them if possible. For example, kids often get whiney when tired or hungry, so plan ahead and get them fed or to sleep before the bad behavior starts. This may mean that you have to end a fun activity or cut short a trip to the grocery before you are ready in order to avoid to avoid an unpleasant scene. When an older child whines for something, encourage him or her to come up with ways to fix the problem. If you immediately start trying to provide solutions, your child will continue with the behavior to keep you engaged and thinking for him instead of doing the work himself. Children sometimes use whining to compensate for major stress in their lives. School issues or dealing with divorce are often the culprit. In this case, spend lots of quality time on one-on-one basis with the child. Note that it's fine to let some other things go such as a clean house in order to take the time to address your child's emotional needs. You may also consider getting counseling for him or her to offer an outlet to express negative emotions and so that better coping skills can be taught. Getting help from others who spend time with your child such as the other parent, a grandparent, or a child care provider, is important, too. Explain your approach to them, and ask that they also not give in to the behavior. This will help to provide consistency for your children which can be very effective in eliminating behaviors. By using the above measures, you should be able to stop the whining and save your sanity.
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